Blog Post #110: Psychological Flexibility
We recently talked to renowned psychologist Dr. Diana Hill on Instagram Live about her expertise in psychological flexibility and holistic wellness. She made many important points for Type C’ers about becoming more connected to our bodies, learning how to better focus our attention and energy, and practicing self compassion. The conversation can be found here, and below please find some highlights:
Diana works with people who are spinning their wheels - they are putting a lot of effort in but aren’t leading the lives they want.
Her Wise Effort approach includes putting energy into things that are renewable and feed back to you, being a positive energizer for others, and figuring out how to make a difference in the world.
Type C traits are barriers to energetic flow - if you are worrying about what others think, your capacity to be fully vibrant and free will be limited.
All the twists and turns in our paths and the walls we encounter on our journeys are opportunities to learn and grow.
As we go through our days, we want to be more present with and aware of what matters and where we are going to put our attention. If there is a mess in the house, how can we be aware of our values and be open and flexible with what matters in the moment. This might mean overlooking the mess.
Practicing psychologically flexibility incorporates how are we showing up, where are we placing our attention, what is our sense of self, can we sit with difficult emotions and be open to them, and can we increase our capacity to be present.
Yoga for Diana was a practice of befriending her body after an eating disorder. Yoga helped her listen to her body - which parts are tight, collapsed, or out of alignment. It’s a process of listening to what would be energizing and uplifting for our bodies.
Yoga has paradoxical dualities - open yet focused, effortful yet at ease. Practicing these dualities can help us better manage rigid or chaotic environments.
Type C people can be very disconnected from our bodies - we suppress our emotions and body signals when we’re so busy focused on the needs and priorities of other people.
Often Type C people are told not to care so much - about performance, family, etc. Diana’s guidance is to not lose this care - but to get more dialed into how you are using it. And to put it into places that energize instead of deplete you.
Care-washing is a real thing in corporate america - companies professing to care about work-life balance but not walking the walk.
A rejuvenating, restorative model is what we need to work on. We must find the things that energize us, that bolster our life force. Sometimes it’s letting go of things, like stories about who we need to be. We can work on letting go of black and white, either/or thinking - and step into “and, both” thinking.
Self compassion can help us learn to better take care of our needs. When we take care of ourselves, we can increase our capacity to care for others.
Experimentation is key - trying things out, seeing what happens. When we take breaks or practice mindful eating - how does this impact productivity? We can try out self assessments to see how this affects our energy.
Positive energizers in companies are motivating to other people. Top qualities are self awareness, authenticity, humility, and human values like generosity and compassion. Energizers care and are present with co-workers.
Self care/compassion at work doesn’t have to be separate. Rejuvenating ourselves can happen while we are working. It’s all about how you relate to yourself, your nervous system - can this be restorative instead of stressful?
Success can simply be an awareness that Type C tendencies are showing up, and not engaging in these unhelpful behaviors. Feeling the pull to say yes or please someone else, but checking in with ourselves and feeling a “whole body no.”
Taking wise action is opening ourselves up - getting curious about where you are stuck, then contemplating where you want to go and what are your values - then opening up to difficult emotions, opening our sense of self.
The “whole body yes” is another important concept - we can feel our body saying yes but our minds can say no, usually because of fear or stories we tell ourselves. We need psychological flexibility to be bold and go for it - and also to listen to a whole body no and set limits and protect ourselves.
Signs of a whole body yes might be a rush of energy, tingling, opening of the heart, or leaning forward.